So very pleasantly drunk now, though alone, on some new whiskey I’ve acquired. It’s great just sipping while smoking and chatting on the phone, in my sort of placid lucidity. Reconnecting with my old summertime pursuits, and good to feel as if I’ve left some sort of imprint, even if it’s not fully what I would have authored if only I held the pen. Tonal shifts can be drastic, sustaining. But I am being a little vague here, perhaps intentionally. There still hafta be some mysteries left, after all…

But no, I do feel as if I am approaching critical mass of friends here in New York. I have my old teaching buddies, of course, and though D is now out of town and out of touch, Miss Fegs is a wonderful, sustaining influence, even if our schedules don’t quite match, with me and my bachelor nocturnalness and her and her more domestic idleness. We hope to have a website together, and I bet I would abduct/adopt her kids if I could. It’s just too easy to miss that sort of chemistry, where I could roll into my class Block 2 and banter with her, tell jokes to the class that only she would laugh at, being Cap’n Fags to her Miss Fegs (which is the name of a citywide detox center (which is a detox center that has branches citywide, not some other misconstrual)), full of crazy peeps who always try to bum cigarettes from ya, cuz those are still legal. Well, no. If I were just ten years older and het….

So back again from a night at the Beer Garden, this time with Joephet and his fam and birthday boy Dannis. Not to mention Betsy. Or at least I try not to. A good set to have fallen in with. No subequatorial stirrings of note despite the proximity to Joephet, which is indeed well-due progress, I must say. So it’s going to be OK, and already is. Difficult to imagine a week ago, which was so marooned and desolate and without hope. Now there is sort of passing acrimony matched with nurturing friendship, which was probably the way to go anyway. New joke, “This is the monoGAMest I’ve ever been.” Must be the buzz talking. It’s a joke because of the acronym GAM. If this needs further explanation, maybe you should read the handbook. Am I hardcore, or do I just pretend? I guess a whiskey, a Lucky, and a Zippo are all that I need. But no, drunkenness is ineffable, even from the inside–and of course a roving eye is always good, though the lighting is not Web-quality: the red lights at the Web make everyone look white. But not quite right.

White makes right.

The 60s managed to win equal whites.

So it goes.