So some recent setbacks (rather, the most recent setbacks) have made me question my path, as it is. Then again, ten years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined any of this, and who knows where I will stand ten years hence.

Well, I’ve been kind of an asshole, because although I claim to have taken a backwards, sideways path, in the end I’ve been very achievement-oriented, about success and this figmentary thing I call my career, which any classicist will tell you is just a course or trajectory, and by definition anything, with the good in parentheses. This is perhaps my alpha-male tendency, albeit not at the cost of cutting other people’s throats.

But now facing a September with no plan, income, or prospects, I don’t know any more.

What do I really want to be in ten years? Well, yondan. The rest are details. Is money really so important? Or am I overcompensating given my parents’ struggles, troubles, and self-doubts? Surely I plan on no family, so I should be cheap. What is the work that I really want to do? These are questions that won’t be answered in any blog post soon.